Practice a healthy lifestyle

• Eat a healthy diet
• Maintain an ideal body weight
• Make time for leisure and exercise
• Get enough sleep and rest

Be realistic

• Know your strengths and weaknesses
• Set achievable goals
• Learn to accept what you cannot change

Think positively

Practice positive self talk like :

I will, I can, I shall try, I am a winner. I am lovable, I am attractive.

Make decision wisely

• Know the relevant facts
• Weigh the advantages and the disadvantages
• Involve people who will be affected in the decision-making

Make friends

• Have friends to talk to and laugh with
• Respect their views and be patient

Listen to your feelings

• Feelings allow you to know what is happening, what you want and what is important to you.
• Feelings tell you when you need to take care of yourself like :
  • Finding a friend when you feel lonely
  • Crying when you feel sad
  • Singing and smiling when you feel happy

You can pretend not to feel but you still have feelings anyway. Below are some strong feelings that everyone has experience once in while :

• Lonesome
• Loved
• Scared
• Sad
• Helpless
• Embarassed

It is OK to show your feelings appropriately because holding them back, pushing them deep inside, just hurts you more.

Learn to handle criticism well

• Honest and constructive criticisms tell more about yourself that
  • Bother other people or
  • Cause them to dislike you, or
  • Get you into trouble

You can learn to listen to criticism and decide for yourself whether or not it is a behaviour you choose to change.

When you are being criticized, you can :

• Stay relaxed
  • take a deep breath
  • say to yourself ‘relax’
  • imagine yourself in a safe place for a few seconds

Decide what to believe. You don’t have to believe every statement made about you. You can choose to accept or reject criticism. You are the world’s foremost expert on the subject of ‘you’.

If the criticism is constructive and accurate,

• Acknowledge your mistake and accept its accuracy
• Apologize
• Take steps to correct the situations

If the criticism is accurate but not constructive,

• Acknowledge your mistake
• Assert yourself in reply to any insult
• Take steps to correct the situations

If the criticism is inaccurate,

• Ask for more information
• Correct the misperception

If the criticism is unkind, and its accuracy is a matter of opinion

• Find ways to agree
• Ask for ideas

Remember to use the non-verbal component of assertive communication, such as upright confident posture, firm tone of voice and good eye contact, these help you to respond in a way that will gain a respect.

Learn to be yourself

• Discard the idea that everyone has to like you.
• Discard the idea that if someone does not like you, you are sad or that you have failed.
• Discard the idea that in order to be liked, you have to do what someone else wants you to do.

If you spend all your time doing what others want you to do, you will never get a chance to be yourself.

Learn to like yourself

• It is OK to like yourself and be your own good friend.
• Do one nice thing each day as a special gift to yourself.
• You can say nice things about yourself.
• You can stop doing something you do not like.
• You don’t have to like everybody and everybody doesn?t have to like you.

Learn to say “NO”

Saying “No” is like giving yourself a present. It gives you time, ownership, privacy and self-respect.

You have a right to say “No” when people ask you to do something illegal, dishonest, or against your beliefs, there are times when you should be firm.

Plan your time well

• Make a list of all the things you need to do and practice them.
• Allocate appropriate time and carry it out.

Spread out the changes in your life

Give yourself time to adjust from one change to another. For example, do not buy a car, a house, get married, and change job all at the same time.

Build a happy family

• Be kind, loving, caring, and polite to your family members.
• Provide them with support in times of need
• Set aside some time each day to talk, play or relax together.
• Make your home a nice place to go back to after a hard day’s work.

Share your problems and get professional help if required

Do not keep all your problems and worries to yourself.

You are not alone and you can talk to your trusted ones. They may have experienced similar situations and may be able to suggest a solution.

Practice good moral and religious values

• Have good faith at all times
• Be sincere and have a clear conscience
• Have a kind heart

Last reviewed : 28 April 2008