Introduction

Sources from www.mentalhealthy.co.uk

A accepting the truth of what has happened in one’s life is not as easy as we think. Some people are struggling to survive in the reality of life.

Acceptance in human psychology is a person’s assent to the reality of a situation, recognizing a process or condition without attempting to change. Spiritual and psychological treatments often suggest the path of acceptance when a situation is both disliked and unchangeable Changes may be possible at great cost or risk. Acceptance may imply only a lack of outward, behavioral attempts at possible change, but the word is also used more specifically for a felt or hypothesized cognitive or emotional state (www.wikipedia.com)

Definition

Acceptance is an act of someone’s accepting or when someone in the state of being accepted or acceptable. The term acceptance in Merriam Webster Online can be defined in three different meanings as follows:

• Is known as the act of taking or receiving something offered. For example, if someone is giving you a gift and you receive it, then you have accepted the gift; therefore, having acceptance.

• Acceptance has to deal with positive welcome and belonging; favor and endorsement. In which, a person could like someone and, have acceptance for them due to their approval of that person.

• Acceptance is that it can be an act of believing or assenting.

There are five types of acceptance:

• Self Acceptance

  • According to Shepard (1979), self-acceptance is an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with himself, and is thought to be necessary for good mental health. Self-acceptance involves self-understanding, a realistic, albeit subjective, awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses. It results in an individual’s feeling about himself that he is of “unique worth”.

  • Being loving and happy with love done. It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept, and support who you are at this moment.

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• Social Acceptance

  • It could be defined as the fact that most people, in order to fit in with others, attempt to look and act like them. Or sometimes it is a term that refers to the ability to accept or to tolerate differences and diversity in other people or groups of people. It affects people of all sorts and includes children, teenagers, and adults

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• Conditional or qualified

  • A type of acceptance that requires modification of the conditions before the final acceptance is made. For example, a contract that needs to be accepted from two parties may be adjusted or modified so that it fits both parties’ satisfactions. A person has been made an offer that they are willing to agree as long as some changes are made in its terms or that some conditions or event occurs. A business contract that is made from the business to the employer, both parties may change and modify the contract until both parties agree or accept the details in the business contract

• Expressed

  • A type of acceptance that involves making an overt and unambiguous acceptance of the set conditions. For example, a person clearly and explicitly agrees to an offer. They accept the terms without any changes. A person agrees to pay a draft that is presented for payment.

• Implied

  • A type of acceptance that is not clearly expressed, but an intent to consent to the presented conditions is made. For example, acceptance is implied by demonstrating any act indicates a person’s assent to the proposed bargain. A lady selects an item in a department store and pays the cashier for it. The lady has indicated that she has agreed to the department stores owner’s offer to sell the item for the price stated on the price tag.

How to accept the reality?

According to Meyer, there is four steps you can take that will aid you in accepting something you did not want as a reality.

• Acceptance: Life is just as it should be. Make the best out of any situation. You can’t change reality by wishing your divorce had never happened. Accepting the reality of your situation and living fully within that reality facilitates letting go of the past and moving ahead to the future. A future you carve out for yourself based on what you want, not based on where you used to be.

• Responsibility: Own your mistakes and make peace with your past. To move forward and let go of the past you should also work through any feelings of guilt or anger that are left from the divorce. If you owe your ex and apology, express it. If you are harboring feelings of anger then learn ways to work through the anger in a constructive manner.

• Mindfulness: Stay open to positive thoughts about everything in your life and welcome in “good” energy! Negative thoughts have a way of creeping into our heads uninvited. The good thing about negative thoughts is that they come to pass, not to stay. Negative thoughts about your situation can’t harm you unless you allow them to do harm.

• Opportunity: An opportunity is a chance to fulfill your dreams, your purpose in life, become who you want to be and do what you want to do. Sometimes opportunity is invited in; sometimes it is forced upon us. As hard as it may be to accept, divorce is an opportunity. Never ignore an opportunity. This new opportunity may have come with fears and emotional pain but, those are not excuses for not taking advantage of the opportunity to fulfill dreams, find purpose and become what you want.

References

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance. Retrieved from November 4, 2014

2. Meyer,C.(n.d.). I’m Divorced But Still Want To Be Married. How Do I Get Over Feeling This Way? Retrieved November 5, 2014, from http://divorcesupport.about.com

3. Shepard,L.A.(1978).Self-acceptance:The evaluative component of the self-concept construct. American Educational Research Journal, 16(2), 139-160

4. Merriam Webster Online.Retrieved November 5, 2014, from http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/acceptance